Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24
This was my prayer last week as I embarked on Authentic August. I’ve been an Authenticity banner wave-er for some time now but recently, what I’ve considered as my authentic nature has been called rude one time too many. So I figured maybe, just maybe, I’m off course and need an authenticity check (similar to a reality check lol). Never wanting to journey into the land of deep discovery alone, I decided that as I did my research and set the record straight, I would share whatever I find with my cyber community so that everyone would know I am right.
Well, enter this article, Is There Such a Thing A Being Too Authentic. I actually discovered it a couple months ago and saved it on my computer. I don’t remember how or why I came across it initially. But there it was, on my computer, as I prepared to begin my authenticity research. One of my favourite scripture verses about God answering before we call (paraphrase of Isaiah 65:24) comes to mind. Because He is all-knowing, He knew I would need to read this article again and had me save it so I could ‘miraculously’ rediscover it at such a time as this. As I read it, my insistence that I am right began to crumble.
The parts of the article that really struck me were:
Scripture teaches us that truth and grace are not opposite ends of a spectrum, with "authenticity" parked closer to the truth end, maintaining a regrettable but unavoidable distance from the grace end.
Rather, truth and grace are both concurrent values on God's graph, and we are to plot ourselves into the graph so that what we say expresses both.
Too much "grace" with no truth makes us smarmy.
Too much "truth" with no grace makes us jerks.
Withholding a comment or deciding not to correct someone’s error because of kindness, then, could perhaps not be seen as a mark of inauthenticity so much as a sign of self-control.
We want our words to be the truth, and nothing but the truth. But when it comes to others, love may require us to withhold certain opinions, to keep certain confidences, to edit certain stories. The authentic Gospel requires authentic believers to speak the (graciously selected) truth.
There ya have it…I am a jerk. I tend to give truth with little or no grace. I just always thought it better to be honest, even if it hurts. I was (am) the poster child for “the truth hurts…deal with it.” I even yearn for the honest unfiltered truth from others. And though it hurts and I typically get annoyed with the giver of that truth, I still love it. I love it because after the annoyance leaves me, I accept the truth of what was said and use it as a growth point. That notwithstanding, I am now realizing that truth without grace is not godly…and I desperately want to represent my Father well in all that I do. Therefore, change is required. {sigh}
Yup, I prayed Psalm 139:23-24 and God searched me and showed me that my skewed view of authenticity does not line up with His Word. Of course God doesn’t want us to be fake and totally throw truth out the window. However, He does want us to present truth as graciously as possible. Sharing truth in a God-honouring way will lead others to Him and His love and healing. Godly Truth is not designed to expose sin and depravity in a demeaning or shaming manner. As I search my heart, I recognize that it is never my conscious intent to demean or shame. Nevertheless, I now accept that due to my lack of due care in choosing the right words and using the right tone at the right time (adding grace to truth), my truth sharing can be more damaging than healing; especially in my closest relationships.
These revelations about godly authenticity have brought me to a place of humble surrender. I let go of what I previously thought to be right and yield to God’s Truth. Although I surrender, I do not retreat. Instead, I commit to submit to the Holy Spirit’s guidance as I strive to live out of my new understanding of authenticity. I will need lots of refining in this area because the thought of changing my “tell it as it is” approach is somewhat overwhelming. Thankfully, God led me to a scriptural marker to undergird my quest to live authentically as He requires. This is now my daily prayer as I endeavour to be authentic.
"Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace."
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