Authenticity Check

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24

This was my prayer last week as I embarked on Authentic August. I’ve been an Authenticity banner wave-er for some time now but recently, what I’ve considered as my authentic nature has been called rude one time too many. So I figured maybe, just maybe, I’m off course and need an authenticity check (similar to a reality check lol). Never wanting to journey into the land of deep discovery alone, I decided that as I did my research and set the record straight, I would share whatever I find with my cyber community so that everyone would know I am right. 

Well, enter this article, Is There Such a Thing A Being Too Authentic. I actually discovered it a couple months ago and saved it on my computer. I don’t remember how or why I came across it initially. But there it was, on my computer, as I prepared to begin my authenticity research. One of my favourite scripture verses about God answering before we call (paraphrase of Isaiah 65:24) comes to mind. Because He is all-knowing, He knew I would need to read this article again and had me save it so I could ‘miraculously’ rediscover it at such a time as this. As I read it, my insistence that I am right began to crumble. 

The parts of the article that really struck me were:

Scripture teaches us that truth and grace are not opposite ends of a spectrum, with "authenticity" parked closer to the truth end, maintaining a regrettable but unavoidable distance from the grace end.

Rather, truth and grace are both concurrent values on God's graph, and we are to plot ourselves into the graph so that what we say expresses both.

Too much "grace" with no truth makes us smarmy. 

Too much "truth" with no grace makes us jerks.
Withholding a comment or deciding not to correct someone’s error because of kindness, then, could perhaps not be seen as a mark of inauthenticity so much as a sign of self-control.

We want our words to be the truth, and nothing but the truth. But when it comes to others, love may require us to withhold certain opinions, to keep certain confidences, to edit certain stories. The authentic Gospel requires authentic believers to speak the (graciously selected) truth.

There ya have it…I am a jerk. I tend to give truth with little or no grace. I just always thought it better to be honest, even if it hurts. I was (am) the poster child for “the truth hurts…deal with it.” I even yearn for the honest unfiltered truth from others. And though it hurts and I typically get annoyed with the giver of that truth, I still love it. I love it because after the annoyance leaves me, I accept the truth of what was said and use it as a growth point. That notwithstanding, I am now realizing that truth without grace is not godly…and I desperately want to represent my Father well in all that I do. Therefore, change is required. {sigh}

Yup, I prayed Psalm 139:23-24 and God searched me and showed me that my skewed view of authenticity does not line up with His Word. Of course God doesn’t want us to be fake and totally throw truth out the window. However, He does want us to present truth as graciously as possible. Sharing truth in a God-honouring way will lead others to Him and His love and healing. Godly Truth is not designed to expose sin and depravity in a demeaning or shaming manner. As I search my heart, I recognize that it is never my conscious intent to demean or shame. Nevertheless, I now accept that due to my lack of due care in choosing the right words and using the right tone at the right time (adding grace to truth), my truth sharing can be more damaging than healing; especially in my closest relationships. 

These revelations about godly authenticity have brought me to a place of humble surrender. I let go of what I previously thought to be right and yield to God’s Truth. Although I surrender, I do not retreat. Instead, I commit to submit to the Holy Spirit’s guidance as I strive to live out of my new understanding of authenticity. I will need lots of refining in this area because the thought of changing my “tell it as it is” approach is somewhat overwhelming. Thankfully, God led me to a scriptural marker to undergird my quest to live authentically as He requires. This is now my daily prayer as I endeavour to be authentic.

"Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace."

Ephesians 4:2-3

Waiting

What do you do when you are waiting on God to answer a prayer request that seems so important and so "now" yet His answer is slow in coming? Do you doubt, lose hope, think He has forgotten you or doesn't love you? Do you believe that He is punishing you for something you did or didn't do?

Here are some things I have learned to do:

1) Continue to pray...and ask God to show me what He wants me to learn, do, or change as I wait (Psalm 139:23-24)

2) Read His Word, the Bible, for reminders to be strong, encouraged, hopeful, patient, and trusting (Joshua 1:7-9)

3) Tap into the Truth hidden in my heart and remember that He loves me and has a good plan for my life. (Jeremiah 29:11)

3) Be busy about the things I already know He wants me to do like spreading His love to the people around me, and doing my job to His honor and glory. (Galatians 6:9-10)

Purpose Promise Process

I wrote the article below yesterday for my church’s bulletin. I’ll give you the back story so you can see how God lines things up to fulfil purpose. On several occasions in the past I have looked at the weekly article in our bulletin and thought to myself, “I should write articles for the bulletin” but never followed up on it. Then on Monday, I volunteered to help out at the church because I am in transition and figured giving to God’s ministry is a great thing to do with my free time. It just so happened that my timing coincided with the Office Assistant’s vacation so I was able to fill her spot. Yesterday morning when I got to church the Lord placed a topic in my spirit that I figured would be my next blog post. However, I needed to complete some projects I was working on at the church so I didn’t have time to write the post. Well, a couple hours into the work day, my Pastor’s wife asked me to finalize the bulletin by finding an article to include. Then she said as an afterthought, “Or you can write an article if you wish.” I KNEW it was a God move and even though given what I was working on I felt I may not have time to write an article, I knew this was an opportunity being presented that could not be passed up. 

Of course I was able to write the article and finish everything I needed to finish by the end of the work day. And because God is so orderly, the topic He placed in my spirit earlier in the day tied into the scrpiture verse on the bulletin cover.

God hears ALL our prayers and knows ALL our desires. The desire to write an article for the church bulletin is at least two years old. God may seem late but He really isn’t. He takes His time to line things up so we know that it was ALL Him. This season is hard but it’s things like this that remind me that God is working on my behalf through each and every circumstance I face. Check out my very first church bulletin article below...

Purpose Promise Process

God has a purpose for all of His creation. Every animal, plant, and substance, has a God-determined purpose. It is the same with every man, woman, and child. We were created to glorify God in our relationship with Him and in our interaction with each other in the earth. We each have tasks and callings that God has purposed for us to fulfil during our lifetime. Regardless of family status, employment status, marital status, or church status, God had a purpose for you when He allowed you to be formed in your mother’s womb. Your presence here at such a time as this is not a mistake.

¹³ “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16 (NKJV)

David says that God knew all his days before he was formed in his mother’s wombs and the same is true for all of us. Nothing that happens in our lives is a surprise to God. The ups and downs, twists and turns, triumphs and trials, are all orchestrated by our faithful Father to fulfil the plans He has for us. As Jeremiah told the people of Israel, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV) This promise to the Israelites applies to all of God’s children, everyone who know Him as Saviour and Lord.

It is important to note that Jeremiah spoke this promise while the Israelites were still in captivity in Babylon. This shows that our circumstances should not cause us to lose sight of our purpose or lose hope in the promises of God. The process God takes us through is normally not easy. He prunes us (John 15:2) and takes us through the refiners fire (Malachi 3:3) to ensure that the good work He began in us is completed (Philippians 1:6).

When we face health issues, financial challenges, conflict on the job or at school, and relational discord, we should find comfort in knowing that every trial is divinely orchestrated to bring forth good fruit in our lives. God wants to develop our character, integrity, perseverance, and endurance. He wants to increase our faith, peace, and joy. When we go through challenges and see the hand of God move in our situations, we get to taste and see how good and faithful He is to protect, guide, and keep us in the midst of the storms of life.

Your purpose will be fulfilled as you go through the process required to mature and equip you to handle the manifestation of the promise. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

As we go through our process, we should always remember that in times of goodness and hardship, we are blessed. Blessings are promised to those who walk in the ways of the Lord. “Blessed is every one who fears the LORD, who walks in His ways.” Psalm 128:1 (NKJV) We should also remember that we may not be able to control the external forces that wage war for our soul, but we can control our internal responses to what is happening around us. Instead of worrying and being fearful and seeking to solve our problems on our own, we should seek the Lord earnestly and wait on Him to act on our behalf.

“As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. ² I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him? ³ Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?” Psalm 42:1-3 (NLT) When fear and doubt creep up and the naysayers taunt us, let us conclude as the Psalmist concludes, “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.” Psalm 42:11 (NKJV) Go courageously through your process as you walk in the promises of God and fulfil His purpose for your life.

Sometimes

Sometimes everything seems wrong in the world
You don’t look right, don’t feel right,
Your hair is a mess and your clothes are too tight.

Sometimes you long for a do-over

A chance to crawl back into bed
 To start the day again, but this time without that awful dread.

Sometimes you wonder what is going on.

Why does life seem so limited?
Why don’t you have the things you always wanted?

Sometimes it gets a little weary

Your steps get a little slower
And you wish the next life was a bit closer.

Sometimes you cry out in the darkness

And hope that someone will hear.
Just one someone to hear and to care.

Sometimes you need to melt into the darkness.

You have to feel the pain and its immeasurable weight
Before you can fully embrace God’s pure light.

Sometimes you just want to give up

There are times when all you can do is fall on your face,
But know that God is waiting and is offering you His Grace.

Sometimes it is in your weakness

That you realize your own strength
And find the courage to go the full length.

Sometimes when everything is amiss

That is the time that you need to find your own song
The song that lets the world know you’re still here and you’re strong.

Sometimes in the midst of your drought

You may forget what this life is all about
But know that your Father has already prepared the way out.

Sometimes you have to close your eyes

Take a DEEP breath, in and out,
Lift your hands to God and just SHOUT!

Moving Forward

Moving Forward
Not looking back.

Moving Forward
Not letting the past hold me back.

Moving Forward
Believing in God's plan.

Moving Forward
Reaching deep within for the very best.

Moving Forward
Don't want to miss a step.

I'm Moving Forward
Will not turn back!

I Want More

There are rivers that run through me

And upon these rivers
Flow the desires of my heart.
Who will hear my desires and care?
Who will answer the yearning of my heart?
My heart beats
The river ripples.
I sleep and hear the sound of water
Flowing all around.
It is soothing
It is luring
It calls my name
It invites me to go deeper.
There are winds of change
Beckoning to me
Urging me to fly higher
Take the limits off
And soar like the eagles.
There is a fire in my belly
That burns with the passion
Of a thousand dreams.



Who will answer the yearning of my heart?
It is I who must answer it.
I have been given the key
That fits the lock
And when I turn that key
I unleash the gifts
Deposited in my treasure box.
I must free the gifts and free myself
For these gifts will bring to pass
The yearnings of my heart
And allow the fullness of all I can be
To flow into the universe and set others free.

No Pain No Gain

On Wednesday I shared a story about my walk with Star, my neighbour’s dog (See “Never Alone”). I didn’t give the whole story though. In the midst of Star’s frolicking, she was hit by a minivan. I watched as front and back tires rolled over Star and was horrified that the minivan continued down the street without stopping. Fortunately, Star was still alive, trying to get up and crying in pain. Nonetheless, I was devastated! Phoneless, carless, I knew I needed to get help for her. I ran (yes RAN) to the nearest phone and called her owner. By this time, the tears were flowing as the trauma of the hit and run sank in. I went back to where I left Star and saw her lying on the side of the road, no longer crying out, but breathing very laboriously. I realized that this was my turn to not leave her alone. I put my hand on her stomach, talked to her and prayed for her (yes I prayed for a dog because she is a part of creation and God cares about all of creation).

By the time as her owners arrived, she was lifting her head and her breathing was normal but she still could not move. Here in the islands we believe in the healing power of the sea and so Star was moved to the sea to hopefully ease her pain. Interestingly, I had walked in shorts that morning, something I never do because of the mosquitoes, but this proved to be providential because I was able to stand in the water with Star and (hopefully) provide her some comfort.

Apart from that, we were helpless. When we tried to move Star out of the water, she growled, cried, and attempted to bite. She tried moving herself when a crab got too close but she wasn’t able to move very far. Despite her cries of pain, her family knew it was necessary for her to go home and she would have to endure some pain for healing to take place. Eventually, Star was taken home, warmed up, fed, and loved on some more. A day later, Star is in good spirits. She probably has a broken hip and a broken front paw and she has several bruises but clearly she is a fighter. I am hoping that once her bones are reset, she will heal completely and once again run and prance around!

This is not Star but this is probably the bandaging she requires :-)

There are so many lessons in this one incident. First, it was painful to watch Star hurting and not be able to help her. But my neighbour and I both recognized that we could not force ourselves on her. We often want things to hurry along and we try to assist God with what He needs/wants to do in our lives. Inevitably, we have to give up and allow His will to take place in His time. Then it was painful to move her and hear her shrieks of pain but she could not stay out there indefinitely. She needed more than what the sea could do. There are times when God requires us to play an active role in what He is doing and often our role brings discomfort to self or others. However, we have to trust His plan enough to know that there is purpose in the pain. The best thing for someone is not always the thing that causes the least suffering. Suffering often gives way to glory!

Are there roadblocks to your emotional, spiritual, or physical healing that seem too unbearable to face and overcome? I encourage you to deal with them face on and stop running from the pain. As the saying goes, no pain, no gain. Endure the immediate pain so you can attain the future freedom that awaits on the other side.

The Best is Yet to Come (by Deyon Anteko Pitter)

[Special thanks to Deyon Anteko Pitter for today's post.]

The best is yet to come, the best is yet to be ~~~ Deyon Anteko Pitter, Jan 17th, 2011

The best is yet to come, the best is yet to be
You ought to scream and shout, for these words have set you free
They promise you that no matter what storms the day may bring
When tomorrow comes, there is a brand new song for you to sing!

The best is yet to come, the best is yet to be
I don't know about you, but these words ring true for me
They send a message of hope, they send a message of faith
And whenever God delivers, it will never be to late

The best is yet to come, the best is yet to be
Let me tell you a secret, come closer and listen to me
Jesus said to tell you, all your burdens He will gladly bear
If everyday you live for Him, and send praises to His ear

The best is yet to come, the best is yet to be
God promises us a life in Him, rewards us eternally
So give up those bad habits, and lay those heavy burdens down
For tomorrow promises a reward, of a mansion, a robe and a crown

from Summer Struggles to September Sizzle

A new day dawning...

It was a long summer, full of ups and downs, peaks and valleys.
As the end of summer approached I had a choice.
I could either wallow in self pity or square my shoulders and do what I do best.
I decided on the latter, I would rise above my circumstances.
I decided to channel my energies into focussing on the things that really matter...
Hopes, dreams, vision, and promises made by a faithful God.
The result: September burst on the scene with vigor!

I'm so excited about this month that I dubbed it
SIGNIFICANTLY SPECIAL SEPTEMBER!!!
I don't know what is significant or special about this particular September
But I know it will be AWESOME!
Increase, Improvement, Growth....
These are the things I sense in the atmosphere.
These are the things that have me on the edge of my seat (figuratively).

It's been a great six days so far.
Doors are opening,
Opportunities are being seized.
New people are crossing my path...
I've got a feeling that it's gonna be a great month.
I've got a feeling that there will be an irrevocable SHIFT
And God is going to show off in a mighty way.

I am open to it,
I am excited about it,
I anticipate it
And I welcome it.
YAY to favour!
YAY to destiny!
YAY to walking in purpose!

Divine Rest

Long Island, Bahamas

During the month of July I experienced a lot of turbulence in my inner world. I wanted results, movement, answers, change. But God wanted me to experience His rest. I wanted to know what was next and how and when I would get to that 'next'. But God just wanted me to rest and experience His love for me. I thought God was being mean and punishing me for something I did, or didn't do. In actuality, He was trying to get me to understand His immeasurable love for me. 

God wants me to stop striving, stop trying to earn love, His or anybody else's. He wants me to rest in the knowledge that He loves me with an unconditional, indescribable, never ending love. In my head I know this, because I read it in His word and I believe His word to be Truth. But often times, that same Truth that I can so eloquently profess with my mouth, I don't believe deep down in my heart. And it shows in how I live.

When I live in doubt and fear, I realize that I am not living out of the Truth that God loves me, He has an expected end for me, and it is His good pleasure to take care of me because I am His and He is mine.

Divine rest means that I don't struggle within myself or with others because I am resting in the knowledge that MY God will never leave me nor forsake me. Mother and father may forsake me, but not my BIG DADDY, He will always be for me and with me.

Divine rest means I am trusting in the One who will never let me down. The arms of flesh will fail me, but not the arms of my Heavenly Father. So I can trust in Lord with all my heart, and lean not to my own understanding.

Divine rest means I know that I know that I know that even when I doubt God and let Him down, He is faithful and will honour that which He set out to do in and through my life. For He knows the plans He has for me and they are good plans.

Despite my doubt and despair, God continues to minister to me through scripture, songs, preached word, nature, people, and circumstances. I am constantly reminded that no matter what it looks like or feels like, God is an ever-present help and refuge. Whether I feel Him with me or not, He is there.

Divine rest is not about being idle, it is about moving steadily along the path already laid out for me, whether I can see the path with my natural eyes or not.

I love the Lord because He first loved me. I will take my rest in Him and walk in favour with Him as He leads me to my expected end.

Rocky or Smooth...

...Step by Step is the Way

Since I am in transition, I have a lot of time on my hands. With time on my hands, there is much opportunity, sometimes too much, to think and wonder. And with these thoughts and wonderings often comes frustration because I don’t have a lot of answers right now. And I am the type who likes to have answers and likes to have a plan. So periods of uncertainty aren’t all that fun for me. If you are my facebook friend, you know I have been sharing thankful thoughts everyday...being intentional about finding things to be thankful for no matter how frustrated or disgusted I feel is how I am keeping sane lol. It gives me a sense of purpose and encourages me, and others too (I think).

Today was another thoughtful time of assessing and re-assessing, contemplating and bargaining (with God lol). As I was sharing my angst with a friend, God’s loving care shined through that moment to give me the boost I needed to take another step. Or rather, to decide to take another step. Any movement in any direction begins with a decision...all things, good and bad, begin in our heads...nothing just happens (sorry peeps, it doesn’t).  And as I leaned into His open arms, extended in love to once again comfort me in yet another moment of crisis, an image came to mind.

The image was of a scene that occurred a couple weeks ago. I was walking along the beach on the north side of the island I live on and came across a rocky area. Although I was barefoot, I continued along because climbing the rocks would give me a better view of the ocean. Then I realized the rocks did not have smooth surfaces but jagged edges that hurt my feet. I looked back from where I had come and realized my shoes were too far away. I looked ahead at the ocean that I wanted a better view of and decided to forge on ahead, over the rocks.

I had to navigate my way over the rocks, looking for smoother parts to step on. I would take a couple steps then get to a particularly rough section and have to stop and look around to figure out where to step next. Sometimes, I could only take one step at a time. Sometimes, I had to suck it up and just step in rough places because there was no smooth area nearby. That is how the Christian walk is. It is stop and go, smooth and rough...

When we hit a rough patch, we tend to look back to the world and wish for the so-called comforts we experienced before we decided to follow Jesus. It looks easier and better but if we are honest, we have to admit that it wasn’t so great in the world and we recognize that we have come too far to go back to the old ways. So we continue on to the prize...like Paul we “press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil 3:14).

As we press on, we have to stop at times and hear God’s voice of guidance. And then we have to step, forward, sideways, one step at a time, sometimes we move quickly, sometimes slowly, sometimes we seem to take a couple steps backwards in order to move ahead. Pause if you must, take a break, check your surroundings, re-adjust if you need to, but by all means, keep on steppin’.