Authenticity Check

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24

This was my prayer last week as I embarked on Authentic August. I’ve been an Authenticity banner wave-er for some time now but recently, what I’ve considered as my authentic nature has been called rude one time too many. So I figured maybe, just maybe, I’m off course and need an authenticity check (similar to a reality check lol). Never wanting to journey into the land of deep discovery alone, I decided that as I did my research and set the record straight, I would share whatever I find with my cyber community so that everyone would know I am right. 

Well, enter this article, Is There Such a Thing A Being Too Authentic. I actually discovered it a couple months ago and saved it on my computer. I don’t remember how or why I came across it initially. But there it was, on my computer, as I prepared to begin my authenticity research. One of my favourite scripture verses about God answering before we call (paraphrase of Isaiah 65:24) comes to mind. Because He is all-knowing, He knew I would need to read this article again and had me save it so I could ‘miraculously’ rediscover it at such a time as this. As I read it, my insistence that I am right began to crumble. 

The parts of the article that really struck me were:

Scripture teaches us that truth and grace are not opposite ends of a spectrum, with "authenticity" parked closer to the truth end, maintaining a regrettable but unavoidable distance from the grace end.

Rather, truth and grace are both concurrent values on God's graph, and we are to plot ourselves into the graph so that what we say expresses both.

Too much "grace" with no truth makes us smarmy. 

Too much "truth" with no grace makes us jerks.
Withholding a comment or deciding not to correct someone’s error because of kindness, then, could perhaps not be seen as a mark of inauthenticity so much as a sign of self-control.

We want our words to be the truth, and nothing but the truth. But when it comes to others, love may require us to withhold certain opinions, to keep certain confidences, to edit certain stories. The authentic Gospel requires authentic believers to speak the (graciously selected) truth.

There ya have it…I am a jerk. I tend to give truth with little or no grace. I just always thought it better to be honest, even if it hurts. I was (am) the poster child for “the truth hurts…deal with it.” I even yearn for the honest unfiltered truth from others. And though it hurts and I typically get annoyed with the giver of that truth, I still love it. I love it because after the annoyance leaves me, I accept the truth of what was said and use it as a growth point. That notwithstanding, I am now realizing that truth without grace is not godly…and I desperately want to represent my Father well in all that I do. Therefore, change is required. {sigh}

Yup, I prayed Psalm 139:23-24 and God searched me and showed me that my skewed view of authenticity does not line up with His Word. Of course God doesn’t want us to be fake and totally throw truth out the window. However, He does want us to present truth as graciously as possible. Sharing truth in a God-honouring way will lead others to Him and His love and healing. Godly Truth is not designed to expose sin and depravity in a demeaning or shaming manner. As I search my heart, I recognize that it is never my conscious intent to demean or shame. Nevertheless, I now accept that due to my lack of due care in choosing the right words and using the right tone at the right time (adding grace to truth), my truth sharing can be more damaging than healing; especially in my closest relationships. 

These revelations about godly authenticity have brought me to a place of humble surrender. I let go of what I previously thought to be right and yield to God’s Truth. Although I surrender, I do not retreat. Instead, I commit to submit to the Holy Spirit’s guidance as I strive to live out of my new understanding of authenticity. I will need lots of refining in this area because the thought of changing my “tell it as it is” approach is somewhat overwhelming. Thankfully, God led me to a scriptural marker to undergird my quest to live authentically as He requires. This is now my daily prayer as I endeavour to be authentic.

"Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace."

Ephesians 4:2-3

From Expectation to Experience

Getting married at 40, I expected to sail pass the hard work of blending two lives and cruise into a smooth mature marriage. I believe that “faith without works is dead”. This translated in my life as “if you believe that God is going to send you a husband, you should be fully prepared when he finally arrives.” In preparation, I read a ton of books on dating, marriage, boundaries, and commitment. I observed and talked to married people, those in successful marriages, the couples with rocky marriages, and people who had thrown in the towel and divorced. I had a mental list of what to avoid and what to focus on. Based on my research, I had carefully created a vision of my husband and our marriage. I had a fool proof plan for a successful marriage. 

My plan eventually began to unfold when I met a man who had about 98% of the characteristics on my list. He was a good Christian man, I was pleased. He proposed, I accepted. We allowed God to be our Wedding Planner and it was great! We were dressed to impress, surrounded by loving family and friends. Our guests were probably more excited than we were because many of them had prayed diligently for each of us to find a good mate and they were there to witness the answer to their unrelenting prayers. All the ingredients for a successful marriage were in place and I knew nothing could go wrong.

 

Fast forward to the present. Ten months into marriage and I’ve had to redefine success in marriage. Even with all my preparation, marriage is so much more than I expected. It is a revealing, humbling, exciting, adventure with highs and lows. I have been awakened to parts of myself that I either thought had already died or never knew existed. Furthermore, the realization that there are aspects of the two-becoming-one that truly baffle me has challenged my arrogant I’m-in-control attitude and forced me to humbly accept that I need Jesus in a new way as I navigate married life.  Despite this, I am excited about this three-way sacrificial love journey. There are so many variables, so many unknowns, but one thing remains constant, God is for us and will never leave us nor forsake us. This truth gives me peace. Marital success is not what I expected but experience has taught me that success is simply trusting God with the daily details of my marriage.

Waiting

What do you do when you are waiting on God to answer a prayer request that seems so important and so "now" yet His answer is slow in coming? Do you doubt, lose hope, think He has forgotten you or doesn't love you? Do you believe that He is punishing you for something you did or didn't do?

Here are some things I have learned to do:

1) Continue to pray...and ask God to show me what He wants me to learn, do, or change as I wait (Psalm 139:23-24)

2) Read His Word, the Bible, for reminders to be strong, encouraged, hopeful, patient, and trusting (Joshua 1:7-9)

3) Tap into the Truth hidden in my heart and remember that He loves me and has a good plan for my life. (Jeremiah 29:11)

3) Be busy about the things I already know He wants me to do like spreading His love to the people around me, and doing my job to His honor and glory. (Galatians 6:9-10)

The Race of Life for Christians

Bahamas 2012 Men's 4x400m team
Victory Hug after WIN

Recently I was hanging out with some Americans and the men's 4x400m relay at Summer Olympics 2012 came up. As the sole Bahamian in the crowd I had to REPRESENT my people well and let it be known LOUDLY and CLEARLY that we WON that race because of the SKILL and DETERMINATION of the men in the race. I then shared with them how the Country practically SHUT DOWN during that race because Bahamians everywhere, at home, in offices, and even in banks, were watching and cheering for our last chance for GOLD in this Olympic competition. Needless to say, as a Country, we REJOICED when our men captured 1st place, over the USA team.  

And then, because I was among sisters in Christ, I shared with them that I actually watched the race for the first time AFTER knowing the results. However, even though I already knew that we had WON, I still sat on the edge of my seat, I still held my breath when we lost our lead, and during the last leg, I still cheered WILDLY  for the Bahamian to CATCH UP and TAKE OVER, and bring home the VICTORY. When it was all over and I sat back all out of breath from the rush of adrenaline that had coursed through my body in those 2+ mins, I laughed at myself. 

Why in the world did I get all worked up when I KNEW the outcome? And it hit me, this is how Christians behave when we forget that we already have the VICTORY because of what Christ did. He died on the cross to pay the ultimate price for our sins. Therefore, when we surrender to Him, and commit to allowing Him to be Lord and Savior in our life, we are no longer slaves to sin. Sin has no control over us. We don't have to live in fear that we will fall by the wayside and permanently live away from God's presence. As Christians, we are branches connected to the Vine and He will keep us and sustain us. 

Therefore, in the Race of Life, when difficulty comes, when opponents get the upper hand, we need to remember, that the God in us makes us WINNERS. We will regain the lead. We will overcome all adversity. Everything in our path that stands in the way of VICTORY will be made null and void. So, let's not sit on the edge of our seats and worry and fret. Let us remember what Paul wrote in Philippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  

Bahamas 2012 Men's 4x400m relay team
Prayer of thanksgiving after WIN

God is FOR us, so nothing and nobody can stop what He has divinely appointed for us. We may lose some battles but the war is ALREADY WON!

Say with me: I AM A WINNER! I AM A WINNER! I AM A WINNER!

Summer Olympics 2012 medal presentation
Bahamas Men's 4x400m relay team

Purpose Promise Process

I wrote the article below yesterday for my church’s bulletin. I’ll give you the back story so you can see how God lines things up to fulfil purpose. On several occasions in the past I have looked at the weekly article in our bulletin and thought to myself, “I should write articles for the bulletin” but never followed up on it. Then on Monday, I volunteered to help out at the church because I am in transition and figured giving to God’s ministry is a great thing to do with my free time. It just so happened that my timing coincided with the Office Assistant’s vacation so I was able to fill her spot. Yesterday morning when I got to church the Lord placed a topic in my spirit that I figured would be my next blog post. However, I needed to complete some projects I was working on at the church so I didn’t have time to write the post. Well, a couple hours into the work day, my Pastor’s wife asked me to finalize the bulletin by finding an article to include. Then she said as an afterthought, “Or you can write an article if you wish.” I KNEW it was a God move and even though given what I was working on I felt I may not have time to write an article, I knew this was an opportunity being presented that could not be passed up. 

Of course I was able to write the article and finish everything I needed to finish by the end of the work day. And because God is so orderly, the topic He placed in my spirit earlier in the day tied into the scrpiture verse on the bulletin cover.

God hears ALL our prayers and knows ALL our desires. The desire to write an article for the church bulletin is at least two years old. God may seem late but He really isn’t. He takes His time to line things up so we know that it was ALL Him. This season is hard but it’s things like this that remind me that God is working on my behalf through each and every circumstance I face. Check out my very first church bulletin article below...

Purpose Promise Process

God has a purpose for all of His creation. Every animal, plant, and substance, has a God-determined purpose. It is the same with every man, woman, and child. We were created to glorify God in our relationship with Him and in our interaction with each other in the earth. We each have tasks and callings that God has purposed for us to fulfil during our lifetime. Regardless of family status, employment status, marital status, or church status, God had a purpose for you when He allowed you to be formed in your mother’s womb. Your presence here at such a time as this is not a mistake.

¹³ “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16 (NKJV)

David says that God knew all his days before he was formed in his mother’s wombs and the same is true for all of us. Nothing that happens in our lives is a surprise to God. The ups and downs, twists and turns, triumphs and trials, are all orchestrated by our faithful Father to fulfil the plans He has for us. As Jeremiah told the people of Israel, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV) This promise to the Israelites applies to all of God’s children, everyone who know Him as Saviour and Lord.

It is important to note that Jeremiah spoke this promise while the Israelites were still in captivity in Babylon. This shows that our circumstances should not cause us to lose sight of our purpose or lose hope in the promises of God. The process God takes us through is normally not easy. He prunes us (John 15:2) and takes us through the refiners fire (Malachi 3:3) to ensure that the good work He began in us is completed (Philippians 1:6).

When we face health issues, financial challenges, conflict on the job or at school, and relational discord, we should find comfort in knowing that every trial is divinely orchestrated to bring forth good fruit in our lives. God wants to develop our character, integrity, perseverance, and endurance. He wants to increase our faith, peace, and joy. When we go through challenges and see the hand of God move in our situations, we get to taste and see how good and faithful He is to protect, guide, and keep us in the midst of the storms of life.

Your purpose will be fulfilled as you go through the process required to mature and equip you to handle the manifestation of the promise. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

As we go through our process, we should always remember that in times of goodness and hardship, we are blessed. Blessings are promised to those who walk in the ways of the Lord. “Blessed is every one who fears the LORD, who walks in His ways.” Psalm 128:1 (NKJV) We should also remember that we may not be able to control the external forces that wage war for our soul, but we can control our internal responses to what is happening around us. Instead of worrying and being fearful and seeking to solve our problems on our own, we should seek the Lord earnestly and wait on Him to act on our behalf.

“As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. ² I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him? ³ Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?” Psalm 42:1-3 (NLT) When fear and doubt creep up and the naysayers taunt us, let us conclude as the Psalmist concludes, “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.” Psalm 42:11 (NKJV) Go courageously through your process as you walk in the promises of God and fulfil His purpose for your life.

Sometimes

Sometimes everything seems wrong in the world
You don’t look right, don’t feel right,
Your hair is a mess and your clothes are too tight.

Sometimes you long for a do-over

A chance to crawl back into bed
 To start the day again, but this time without that awful dread.

Sometimes you wonder what is going on.

Why does life seem so limited?
Why don’t you have the things you always wanted?

Sometimes it gets a little weary

Your steps get a little slower
And you wish the next life was a bit closer.

Sometimes you cry out in the darkness

And hope that someone will hear.
Just one someone to hear and to care.

Sometimes you need to melt into the darkness.

You have to feel the pain and its immeasurable weight
Before you can fully embrace God’s pure light.

Sometimes you just want to give up

There are times when all you can do is fall on your face,
But know that God is waiting and is offering you His Grace.

Sometimes it is in your weakness

That you realize your own strength
And find the courage to go the full length.

Sometimes when everything is amiss

That is the time that you need to find your own song
The song that lets the world know you’re still here and you’re strong.

Sometimes in the midst of your drought

You may forget what this life is all about
But know that your Father has already prepared the way out.

Sometimes you have to close your eyes

Take a DEEP breath, in and out,
Lift your hands to God and just SHOUT!

Moving Forward

Moving Forward
Not looking back.

Moving Forward
Not letting the past hold me back.

Moving Forward
Believing in God's plan.

Moving Forward
Reaching deep within for the very best.

Moving Forward
Don't want to miss a step.

I'm Moving Forward
Will not turn back!

New Year

New Year

Same Rule
New Year
Same God
New Year
Same Purpose
New Year
Same Focus

It’s a new year

But God has not changed.
God is the same
Yesterday, today, and forever.
His love is
Never-ending.
His peace is
All-consuming.

It’s a new year

But God’s love is the same.
God has not changed.
He still wants your heart.
God is still the same.
He wants intimacy between you and He.
God and His love does not change,
But His love can bring change in each of us.

mp3 Secrets

I realized today that my mp3 can tell a tale on my life. Most days I walk with my mp3 player because I LOVE music and it keeps me pumped for my walk. I also like variety so I keep the mp3 player set to “shuffle” so it can play songs randomly from the different albums and genres on it. The majority of my songs are gospel so I can go for an entire 30-60 minute walk and only hear gospel songs. However, there are other genres on my mp3 player. In addition to gospel, I have hip hop, reggae, soca, and Bahamian. These songs typically put an extra pep in my step because the beat and lyrics are so catchy. Sometimes I skip them because I’m not in the frame of mind to hear secular music and I need only soul inspiring music. And then there are times that I enjoy the switch and move to the rhythms and allow myself to be taken away to another place. Today was such a day.

If anyone observed me on my walk, I probably seemed rather sporadic. I would clip my fingers, bop, and bellow out secular lyrics, then raise my hands and loudly sing praises to God, then walk and whine. By the time as I arrived back at my starting point, I had a dance session on the driveway to the soca song that was playing. I just had to get it all out and it was such fun!

When I was done dancing I imagined the thoughts that may run through the minds of some people if they saw me or knew the mixture of music I listen to. Of course my mind went a step further and I wondered what people would think if they not only had access to my mp3 player, but also to my mind. Lord knows I have some far out thoughts at times. And, like with my mp3 player, sometimes I skip over these thoughts and they have little to no impact on my actions. Other times, I allow the thoughts to fester and eventually they become actions. They aren’t always good actions and sometimes I have to seek my Father’s forgiveness. Fortunately, He knows enough to not be surprised by my thoughts or actions and He loves me enough to forgive me and allow me to enjoy fellowship with Him in spite of my actions.

Message of this story: there is more to people than what we see and no one action represents a person in his or her totality. Take what people offer you of themselves and if you are fortunate to see multi facets of an individual, consider it an honour, not an opportunity for judgement...thatisall.

DECISION DECEMBER

Here is something a little different. I know it has been a hard year for many of us. For some there have been significant financial, emotional, and relational challenges. No matter whether things are good or bad right now, there is always room for improvement. I am an advocate for constant reflection and adjustments to ensure that we are living the BEST life possible. I have dubbed this month "Decision December". Below are some points for you to consider that may help you end this year strong and well positioned for a fabulously purposeful new year.

STEP 1 - DECIPHER

Who are you?

What are your strengths?
What are your top 5 interests
When you search your heart, what are your innermost desires and dreams?
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to be? (this is not the same as the previous question)
Are you a child of God or are you on satan’s team? (it’s either/or, no middle ground)

STEP 2 - DETERMINE

Definitively decide on a course of action based on answers in STEP 1.
Determine to serve God and allow His plan to manifest in your life
Determine your goals
Determine deadlines for your goals
Determine (resolve within yourself) that there are NO limits to what you can achieve
Determine that regardless the setbacks, you will persevere to your intended end

STEP 3 - DO

Perform!!!!
Bring to pass what you have determined in STEP 2

The Cat

There is a cat that lives in my mother’s yard

He roams around from end to end
Despite Mother’s promise
That to a far away land she will send.
 
Day after day we shoo her away
And day after day she lets us know she intends to stay.
I wonder why the cat doesn’t get the hint
I guess we should accept this will be no short stint.

Maybe in Kitty’s presence there a lesson.

Can we relate this to our Father who sent us His Son?
We try to ignore Him despite His acts of care
Keeping Him at bay, possibly out of fear.

We sometimes wish the Master would let us be

So we can live the life we consider to be free.
But He knows better than we do
That without His constant presence we will not have true freedom.

So He persists and He pursues

Always near when danger ensues.
We can depend on Him to help us
Because to love, for Him, is a must.

Kitty also teaches us that from the Master’s Hand

We receive sustenance to stand.
Kitty comes to the door and meows when she is hungry
For she knows where to go when she is needy.

Kitty knows a truth that we sometimes forget

We have to come with expectancy in order to get.
If we know who we are and whose we are
We will know not to run or go very far.

It may seem like God has forsaken us

But we should ask, “Unlike man, has He from His presence ever thrust?”
Sometimes it is our actions that make Him feel far away
But always remember, in His presence, we are never a stray.

No Pain No Gain

On Wednesday I shared a story about my walk with Star, my neighbour’s dog (See “Never Alone”). I didn’t give the whole story though. In the midst of Star’s frolicking, she was hit by a minivan. I watched as front and back tires rolled over Star and was horrified that the minivan continued down the street without stopping. Fortunately, Star was still alive, trying to get up and crying in pain. Nonetheless, I was devastated! Phoneless, carless, I knew I needed to get help for her. I ran (yes RAN) to the nearest phone and called her owner. By this time, the tears were flowing as the trauma of the hit and run sank in. I went back to where I left Star and saw her lying on the side of the road, no longer crying out, but breathing very laboriously. I realized that this was my turn to not leave her alone. I put my hand on her stomach, talked to her and prayed for her (yes I prayed for a dog because she is a part of creation and God cares about all of creation).

By the time as her owners arrived, she was lifting her head and her breathing was normal but she still could not move. Here in the islands we believe in the healing power of the sea and so Star was moved to the sea to hopefully ease her pain. Interestingly, I had walked in shorts that morning, something I never do because of the mosquitoes, but this proved to be providential because I was able to stand in the water with Star and (hopefully) provide her some comfort.

Apart from that, we were helpless. When we tried to move Star out of the water, she growled, cried, and attempted to bite. She tried moving herself when a crab got too close but she wasn’t able to move very far. Despite her cries of pain, her family knew it was necessary for her to go home and she would have to endure some pain for healing to take place. Eventually, Star was taken home, warmed up, fed, and loved on some more. A day later, Star is in good spirits. She probably has a broken hip and a broken front paw and she has several bruises but clearly she is a fighter. I am hoping that once her bones are reset, she will heal completely and once again run and prance around!

This is not Star but this is probably the bandaging she requires :-)

There are so many lessons in this one incident. First, it was painful to watch Star hurting and not be able to help her. But my neighbour and I both recognized that we could not force ourselves on her. We often want things to hurry along and we try to assist God with what He needs/wants to do in our lives. Inevitably, we have to give up and allow His will to take place in His time. Then it was painful to move her and hear her shrieks of pain but she could not stay out there indefinitely. She needed more than what the sea could do. There are times when God requires us to play an active role in what He is doing and often our role brings discomfort to self or others. However, we have to trust His plan enough to know that there is purpose in the pain. The best thing for someone is not always the thing that causes the least suffering. Suffering often gives way to glory!

Are there roadblocks to your emotional, spiritual, or physical healing that seem too unbearable to face and overcome? I encourage you to deal with them face on and stop running from the pain. As the saying goes, no pain, no gain. Endure the immediate pain so you can attain the future freedom that awaits on the other side.

Never Alone

Early on Saturday morning a friend sent me a text message that woke me in more ways than one. It began “We are never alone...” I thought it a strange text to send at 6:30 on a precious Saturday morning but within seconds I began to discover its significance as I realized it was an answer to my prayer to wake early and have a time of prayer and meditation with the Lord. The text in its entirety later served as my meditation focus during what proved to be a life-changing, heart melting session with Big Daddy.

This morning I was again reminded that I am never alone. My morning walk was not only delayed due to rain, but also void of my typical “aids” because my cell and mp3 player went on Carol-imposed hiatus (i.e. not charged) at the same time. Nonetheless, I hit the pavement. I was not too far along the road, bemoaning my fate of having to walk “alone” with no human or electronic ‘company’, when I saw a dog barrelling down the road towards me. Imagine my thoughts as this dog came running at me, in what I thought was attack mode. Of course I’m a ‘soldier’ (or rather soulJAH) so I wasn’t about to show any fear to a dog.  Thankfully, as she got closer, I realized I knew this dog and called out her name. She responded with wagging tail and leaps and proceeded to prance alongside me as I walked.

Star, my neighbour’s dog, would run ahead on the road, then run into the sand, dip in the water, run back and prance around me, and then run ahead again. I soon recognized that God had sent me company for my walk and the words of my Saturday morning text came back to me: “We are never alone”. I smiled at the goodness of the Lord to meet my needs in  varied ways and enjoyed my walk with my most unexpected, but super energized and high-spirited partner. When it was time to turn back, I made sure Star was still following along with me. I knew her family doesn’t let her roam the streets so I thought it best to walk her home since she had been so nice to keep my company.

On the walk back Star playfully darted in and out the water, ran through the trees along the beach, darted across the road, and pranced around me with such joy and excitement I almost wanted to dart here and there with her. I watched her and thought how carefree she seemed, almost wild actually. Then it hit me! Star was outwardly displaying my innermost place – that place that is wildly free from care and willing to abandon itself to infectious joy. As Star displayed this morning, there is nothing quite like being bound and then being set free. The way Star enjoyed her freedom really encouraged me to continue to explore and embrace the freedom I have in Christ Jesus. I’m so thankful I got to learn something from a canine today. Balaam had a talking donkey (Numbers 22:28), I got a prancing dog. Praise God!

Power Walk vs. Endurance Walk

I left out this morning feeling very lethargic. There was no pep in my step. It’s amazing what a difference 24 hours can make. Yesterday I was so energetic and had a nice power walk that I am sure was a personal best time. But this morning I was totally not feeling it. However, I pushed myself and continued, one step at a time, knowing that the best I could do was to put one foot in front of the other, not being overly concerned with speed. I decided that since I wasn’t feeling very exercise-ish that I would just enjoy a little walk with Big Daddy. I approached the point that I normally turned around and decided I wasn’t ready to turn back so I continued walking. I walked and walked and walked and walked some more. I walked past a group of school children waiting for the bus and one asked me how far I was walking. I was already twice as far as I normally walk and still didn’t feel like turning back. So I told the young man, “until I feel like turning back” and continued on my walk.

As I walked I heard words like “endurance” and “no limits” and “expand” and began to think about the two previous times in recent years that I had gone on one of these endless walks with the Lord. I asked Him what He was trying to teach me, what He wanted me to see (and share). It seemed that Big Daddy wanted me to recognize that even though power walks are good for the heart, endurance walks stretch your muscles and strengthen you to go the distance.

Power walks are akin to the times when we use our ministry gifts to praise the Lord in song or dance, preach an on time word, serve a family in need, or see our prayers heal the sick. These are great times and bring joy to ourselves and even others. It puts you on a high to be used so powerfully but you eventually come down off the high until the next time the anointing is upon you to do the supernatural and miraculous.

Endurance walks on the other hand, are like our regular day-to-day Christian life when there is no pizzazz, no frill or fluff, just self in all of its glory and depravity. It is during the ordinariness of life that we develop character, maturity and the fruit of the Spirit. Without these, we cannot use our gifts to their greatest good. It is when the lights are off, when nobody is watching and we are intimate with Creator God that we tap into the fullness of the gifts within and get a deep understanding of who we are and why we are here. Endurance walks are long and arduous and the conditions tend to change as you walk. It can go from overcast and cool to rainy to sunny and hot. You can walk on flat or hilly, sandy or rocky terrain. The key is not to focus on the conditions, but to focus on purpose and walking in obedience. If you can make it on the “endurance walk”, the “power walk” will have even greater impact as you operate in the limitless power of God.

Today’s message: continue to endure, take the limits off of what God can, and will do in my life, watch and see the goodness of the Lord as He expands my territory.

Are you Listening?

God is always speaking and we must be in tune to His voice to recognize what He is saying because He does not speak in the same manner all the time. He speaks through His word, through people, through nature, and through our life experiences. God showed me something this morning through nature.

I was chatting with Big Daddy (God) this morning as I lay in bed and decided I may hear Him better if I exercised. So I jumped up, put on exercise clothes and headed to the treadmill at my "timeshare" only find out that I couldn't figure out how to get it to start. I was really psyched about exercising so I didn't let that stop me and decided to go the old fashioned route - hit the pavement. I opened the door and it was dark outside but it didn't seem to be raining so I headed out. Two minutes into my walk I felt water drop on me but I kept going and prayed, "Lord, please don't let this really be rain." Another 2 minutes and there was no mistaking it, it was raining or what we call sprying. But I was in a groove and decided to keep going. My prayer then became, "Lord, please don't let me get sick from walking in the rain." lol

I'm walking at a good pace, saying "Good morning" to the little children making their way to school, ignoring the looks of people driving by on the busy road who are probably wondering why this woman is walking in the rain, asking God more questions, and feel jazzed that my lazy bones are not just walking, but walking in the rain. And then the rain stopped. And it was cool and I thanked the Lord for the little rain that allowed me to have a cool walk. And as I continued to walk, a song burst forth from my soul and I began to sing a song to God expressing my love for and trust in Him. It was a sweet time.

When my song ended, God showed me the answer to my questions by pointing out what had just occured in nature. I looked out the door and it was dark but I continued with my plan to walk. As I walked, the dark clouds gave way to rain but I pressed on. And after a little while, the rain stopped and there were still some dark clouds. Eventually the dark clouds started to recede and the sky cleared up. He showed me that this is how life is when we walk with Him. There are dark clouds and even some rain, but brighter, better days will follow those dark periods. We cannot let the appearance of difficulty deter us from doing what He instructs and going where He leads because we have to trust Him in the midst of good times and bad times.

As I type this I hear Him saying that He was with me through the entire walk just as He is with me through life. And it's true. Before, during, and after rain, I knew He was with me so it really didn't matter what the weather is like. Likewise, during hard times, in uncomfortable situations, when life is sweet, and when it feels like my world is falling apart, He is right there fulfilling His promise never to leave me nor forsake. I LOVE that about God. Don't you?

Keep listening, because He is ALWAYS speaking. Be BLESSED!

God is GOOD!

God is so GOOD!

He is
Glorious
Omnipotent
Omniscient and
Divine.

There is none like Him.
He knows me by name.
He knows me intimately
And He holds me in the palm of His hands.

God is
Glorious
Omnipotent
Omniscient and
Divine.

I love the Lord because He first loved me.
Sometimes my love falls short.
Sometimes I don't do as I ought.
But His love is always the same.

Big Daddy is
Glorious
Omnipotent
Omniscient and
Divine.

Can I ever thank Him enough?
Praise Him enough?
Is anything too much to offer?
All I am I give to Him in worship.

My Lord is
Glorious
Omnipotent
Omniscient and
Divine.

No matter what life throws my way,
My goal is to stand firm
On the Word of my God.
His promises are everlasting.

The triune God is
Glorious
Omnipotent
Omniscient and
Divine.

I will praise Him all my days!

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Purpose Ain't Easy

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My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine. Matthew 26:39

My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done. Matthew 26:42b

We live in a fallen world, life is hard, people are complex, relationships (familial, platonic, and romantic) are complicated. Yet God calls His people to submit to Him, walk in obedience and joyfully follow His plan for their lives. If Jesus is our model, we see from the verses above that in His human nature, His flesh wanted to turn away from the plan but He pressed on because He knew that His purpose required Him to endure this ultimate hardship.

I got a reality check this morning as I read Matthew 26. I was humbled as I remembered what my Lord suffered on my behalf. In verse 28 Jesus tells His disciples, “this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and His people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many.” Jesus gave His life for me. He died on the cross for my sins. He loved me so much that He bore the price of my sins so that I may not live separated from God because of sin but may have eternal life. What an amazing thing!

To fulfil the plan God had to redeem the world, Jesus suffered ridicule and false accusations “But Jesus remained silent” (v 63). Immediately, I started to think about how I often want to defend myself, prove myself right or innocent or worthy. Yet, here is the One I claim to model my life after remaining silent in the face of accusations that are much more damaging than the petty stuff I defend myself over. These accusations would lead to His death! Yet, He remained silent because He knew that His purpose was greater than His image. He did not let pride hinder the will of God for His life. WOW! Now there’s a lesson in humility.

Jesus, the Son of God, allowed men to spit in His face, beat Him, slap Him, and jeer at Him and He did nothing to stop them. (vv 67-68) A previous scene gives us an idea of His motivation for allowing all this. In v 53, He admonished His disciple not to take a sword to the men who came to arrest Him. “Don’t you know that I could ask my Father for thousands of angels to protect us and he would send them instantly? But if I did, how would the Scriptures be fulfilled that describe what must happen now?” (Matthew 26:53) Here we see that the Son of Man knew that His purpose was bigger than this momentary discomfort and He was willing to do whatever was required of Him to fulfil that purpose.

Reading this was sobering. It reminded me that I too have a purpose. The route God takes my life does not always make sense to me but there is a reason for it. Sometimes the reason is not even for my benefit but for the benefit of others. I have a choice. I can walk in obedience according to God’s plan for my life or I can look for the easy way out and do what makes me comfortable. Experience has taught me that doing God’s will brings more sustainable peace than taking the road of least of resistance.

My choice: Purpose ain’t easy but I’m gonna walk in it regardless of the personal discomfort along the way. My prayer: Lord, help me when I am weak to do that which You have called me to do. In all things and at all times may I serve as unto the Lord (thanks LH!)

* All Scripture quotations in this post are from the New Living Translation (NLT)

Confessions of a Pharisee

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So......I just LOVE the way Big Daddy deals with me. He is persistent, yet gentle. This week He came after my Pharisee-like ways. And to make sure I GOT it, He showed me myself slowly at first, and then repeatedly in a short space of time. I got a taste of “He neither slumbers nor sleeps...” this week. Thankfully I know that He rebukes me because He loves me.

Here is the back story: I posted “Is Something Wrong with Me?” on Monday, September 12. It was a beautifully written (if I say so myself) piece about those other people who are sadly materialistic. I must say, I really liked that post. So when I received an off blog comment about it I was a little irked. Well actually, even though it was well intentioned and I knew it was well intentioned, that comment irked me a lot. So I had to pause and have a conversation with Big Daddy to figure out what was really behind my intense reaction. What I realized was that even though it is true that being materialistic (or thingsie like one of my friends calls it) is not a good trait, my attitude in writing the post was just as bad or worse. I wrote that post with an air of “I am a better than them because I get it”. The word that came to mind was Pharisee...I was being a Pharisee with my “I sure am glad I don't have the gatta get it, gatta have it bug”.





Interestingly, because God has a wonderful sense of humour, I had already written “Moment of Silence” by the time as I got the revelation on my being a Pharisee. So I figured I was covered. My thought was that if anyone thought I was being arrogant in the previous post, by the time as "Moment of Silence" hits the blog, they will think  that I realized my arrogance and ‘repented’. lol However, since I am walking out this share Truth plan, that could not really fly because truthfully, the arrogance I speak to in Moment of Silence is something different.



Walking the path of Truth by His Grace


That notwithstanding, I have a little bit of hustler in me and I was still thinking of ways to not really out myself on my blog….didn’t work. After the initial Pharisee revelation, Big Daddy softened the blow a little bit by reminding me that arrogance is really a cover for insecurity. So I was going to write a post that I was sure would garner some sympathy for myself as I vulnerably shared my very real struggles with insecurity and questioning my worth and wondering if I have any value. But you know what, I posted on facebook earlier this week that I need to go deeper and anything else is not acceptable. Then one of my seminary friends came in agreement with that prayer. Well, if you don’t know, God hears and honours our prayers. So He took me deeper, beyond hiding behind insecurity to a place of being honest. I had to be honest with the fact that no matter the wounds that have led to my insecurity, if I truly want to go deeper, I have to face how those wounds manifest in my life and deal with it.

Like a loving father, Big Daddy knows how to get me to pay attention and that is by repetition til I get to the point of “Ok Lord, I HEAR you, ya know.” So after I slowly recognized my sin, I then got lots of confirmation on my sin. Someone emailed me a newsletter with an article called “Woman of Grace” by Angela Thomas and she talks about acting like a Pharisee. I read a passage of Scripture on the Pharisees. I read a devotion and it talked about the Pharisees. And then, just in case that wasn’t enough, I turned on my television to Joyce Meyer this morning and what is she talking about? YUP! Her message was on being religious like the Pharisees and she quoted the exact Scripture that came to mind when I first realized my most recent Pharisee-like behavior. I say recent because as I was typing just now Holy Spirit reminded me that I have been rebuked on this before (lessons not learned will be repeated) lol. But you know the passage right, the one where the Pharisee and the tax collector are praying and the Pharisee is going on about how he is so happy he is not like sinners. lol

So long story short (after I’ve already told the long story haha) is that I must confess, I have Pharisee-like tendencies and sometimes they slip through in my writing. I have confessed my sin to God, and now I confess my sin to you, my readers. I repent of my religious arrogance and desire with all my heart to turn away from my sinful pride and walk in the humility befitting a daughter of the King.

[side note: the underlying cause of arrogance (i.e. insecurity) is still worth talking about so I may publish something on that next week…stay tuned!]

Moment of Silence

<EXHALE>

I think it's time for a moment of silence.
I'm tired of the sound of my own voice.
I find it to be critical far too often these days.
So just for a moment,
Let's have some peace and silence.

Phillippians 4:8 (NIV) reads:

Finally, brothers and sisters,
whatever is true,
whatever is noble,
whatever is right,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable—
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—
think about such things.

For my purposes, I will have to add:
SPEAK only about such things.

I don't like negative, critical people.
Fortunately, I have the good sense
To realize when I am being one of those people.
I don't know why I have this air of
I know it all.
That is so unattractive.
Arrogance is so unbecoming.

I don't want to be that person.
Lord, guard my tongue.
Help me to exercise self control.
If I can't say something positive,
Help me to say nothing at all.
Father, forgive me for the ways
I have been unkind and disrespectful.
Thank You for reminding me that
I am accountable to You.

Readers, pray for me as I...

Is something wrong with me?

 

I think something must be wrong with me.

So many people are concerned with money and things

And I just don't seem to have that gene.

The way I see it, people are overly consumed

With thoughts of how to amass wealth.

They want nice cars, big houses, and fancy things so they can feel like they have arrived. And then when they get the things on the first list, It's still not enough and they want to upgrade or expand.

I wonder what it is all for.

Do things really bring peace or happiness?

The really ‘funny’ thing is that somewhere along the way the thoughts shift.

Fear has a new face and we see another kind of preoccupation.

It's no longer will I have enough? but rather, can I keep my stuff?

Will someone rob me and take away all that I have worked for?

Will those left behind cherish what I sacrificed for?

They enter the world of fear of the unknown.

People are fearful of what they have no control over.

But they want control so they lock everything up, install alarms,

And create wills to dictate who gets what.

They also dangle their things in their loved ones faces

And threaten to re-write the will if you do this or if you don't do that.

Worse yet, some become paranoid,

Thinking people want them dead so they can get their inheritance.

Materiality can do strange things to people.

I'm sure glad money and things don't move me.

Some say it's because I was born with such.

That could be it but maybe not.

I ponder and I observe the preoccupations

And I conclude that whatever the reason,

I sure am glad I don't have the gatta get it, gatta have it bug.

After all, everything we 'own' on this earth is merely temporary.

It will either rot, be lost, or be left behind.

So while I am passing through this earth,

I try not to hold anything too close.

I'm gonna use what I can use, give what I can give,

And thank God for it all.

I want to be mindful not to hoard, not to obsess

'Cause in the end, it's all just stuff!