The Cat

There is a cat that lives in my mother’s yard

He roams around from end to end
Despite Mother’s promise
That to a far away land she will send.
 
Day after day we shoo her away
And day after day she lets us know she intends to stay.
I wonder why the cat doesn’t get the hint
I guess we should accept this will be no short stint.

Maybe in Kitty’s presence there a lesson.

Can we relate this to our Father who sent us His Son?
We try to ignore Him despite His acts of care
Keeping Him at bay, possibly out of fear.

We sometimes wish the Master would let us be

So we can live the life we consider to be free.
But He knows better than we do
That without His constant presence we will not have true freedom.

So He persists and He pursues

Always near when danger ensues.
We can depend on Him to help us
Because to love, for Him, is a must.

Kitty also teaches us that from the Master’s Hand

We receive sustenance to stand.
Kitty comes to the door and meows when she is hungry
For she knows where to go when she is needy.

Kitty knows a truth that we sometimes forget

We have to come with expectancy in order to get.
If we know who we are and whose we are
We will know not to run or go very far.

It may seem like God has forsaken us

But we should ask, “Unlike man, has He from His presence ever thrust?”
Sometimes it is our actions that make Him feel far away
But always remember, in His presence, we are never a stray.

Is something wrong with me?

 

I think something must be wrong with me.

So many people are concerned with money and things

And I just don't seem to have that gene.

The way I see it, people are overly consumed

With thoughts of how to amass wealth.

They want nice cars, big houses, and fancy things so they can feel like they have arrived. And then when they get the things on the first list, It's still not enough and they want to upgrade or expand.

I wonder what it is all for.

Do things really bring peace or happiness?

The really ‘funny’ thing is that somewhere along the way the thoughts shift.

Fear has a new face and we see another kind of preoccupation.

It's no longer will I have enough? but rather, can I keep my stuff?

Will someone rob me and take away all that I have worked for?

Will those left behind cherish what I sacrificed for?

They enter the world of fear of the unknown.

People are fearful of what they have no control over.

But they want control so they lock everything up, install alarms,

And create wills to dictate who gets what.

They also dangle their things in their loved ones faces

And threaten to re-write the will if you do this or if you don't do that.

Worse yet, some become paranoid,

Thinking people want them dead so they can get their inheritance.

Materiality can do strange things to people.

I'm sure glad money and things don't move me.

Some say it's because I was born with such.

That could be it but maybe not.

I ponder and I observe the preoccupations

And I conclude that whatever the reason,

I sure am glad I don't have the gatta get it, gatta have it bug.

After all, everything we 'own' on this earth is merely temporary.

It will either rot, be lost, or be left behind.

So while I am passing through this earth,

I try not to hold anything too close.

I'm gonna use what I can use, give what I can give,

And thank God for it all.

I want to be mindful not to hoard, not to obsess

'Cause in the end, it's all just stuff!

Can you see me?



God sees all His creation, us included,
as beautiful and worthy to be seen.

With this new social network era, I find it interesting how many 'friends' a person accumulates and even more interesting how 'proud' some people are of the number of so called friends they have. I used to be one such person. I was actually in 'competition' with someone on facebook. And every time I saw his number increase, I would try to get more friends too. I could never surpass him though and it really annoyed me. The funny thing was, the other person didn't even know we were competing. lol


One day it occurred to me that I was becoming obsessed with a number and allowing that number to speak to my self-worth. I had to think about the truth behind the number and how many of those persons really knew me, and how many I would even want to know me, the real me. I think life is like the facebook network sometimes. We seem to have lots of people in our world but we can still feel all alone and unknown.

Am I the only one who has felt the pang of being surrounded by other humans, yet not felt connected? Have you ever stood in a crowd, smiled, talked, maybe even laughed but on the inside felt like something was amiss or you didn't belong? Sometimes it feels like there is a little Carol in me who is jumping up and down shouting, "SEE ME! I really want you to SEE me!"

I thought people didn't see me because they weren't looking, weren't paying enough attention. And this may be partly true. However, having recently completed a 2 year intensive counseling degree, which required me to look within and assess what I give off and why, I now know that a part of the reason people weren't seeing me is because I was hiding me.

I unknowingly walked around with a mask, showing only what I thought to be safe. I didn't realize I was holding back, I thought I was an open book. But then I saw the light, and the light set me free. I realized I was free to be me, the real me. Unfortunately, this realization doesn't immediately result in a completely open vault. Living in freedom, freedom from fear, freedom from people pleasing, freedom from trying to keep up with the Joneses, is an ongoing process.

It requires a willingness to look within, to pay attention to your heart, to be in tune to the things that hurt you, and to embrace healing from those wounds. It also requires taking that self awareness to the only One who can give you the wisdom, strength, and courage to live freely. As you lean into Him, He directs you towards the abundant life He has promised. And once you look within and submit to the one above, there is another step to freedom. You have to decide to be seen and invite others in and let them see you.

I am learning to let people see me, undone me, scared me, don't have it all figured out me. Can you see me? Will you allow me (and others) to see you?