Jigsaw Lessons

I spent the last four days working on a jigsaw puzzle with 1,000 pieces. This is my second time attempting such a feat. The first one was daunting and overwhelming. But the finished product was so beautiful that I asked my husband to frame it so we could display it in our home. He did. We have. With that initial experience under my belt, just the thought of the second puzzle of this size brought about mixed emotions that ranged from trepidation about the overwhelmingness (my word) of going through the process and excitement over seeing all the pieces transformed into the inspiring photo on the box.

From the beginning of the summer, this project has loomed over me, taunting me to step up to the challenge. For weeks I put it off for other more meaningful activities like sleep and candy crush lol. Yeah, not so meaningful but definitely less effort required. And then, the moment arrived, late Friday night. I had sufficiently exhausted all other time occupiers and decided NOW is the time to put together my puzzle. So I told my husband, “Honey, this IS IT! It's Puzzle Time!”

Around 4am on Saturday morning, I ended my first round of Puzzle Mania. I had the borders completed and felt pretty good about myself. In truth, borders are pretty easy because if it has a flat edge, it is almost certainly a border lol. No rocket science level of genius required there. The next round of Puzzle-ing got a little more challenging and I began to feel overwhelmed like I had two years prior. Thankfully, I like to see things through so I pressed on.

The days began to blur, I lost track of time, I stayed up all night, I went to sleep when day broke, I dreamed about puzzle pieces, I slept for a few hours and got up, and I went back to the puzzle. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I got a burst of new energy. It dawned on me that this process was filled with life lessons. The avid learner in me got more enthused about what the puzzle was teaching me than in completing the project. And then it was over. As the puzzle lay completed on the dining room table, I sat back and smiled. I was pleased with the end product. I was even more so overjoyed by the sense of fullness I felt from the lessons I received along the way.

Perspective * Perseverance * Patience * Purpose * Position * People

The first lesson I learned was about perspective. Perspective is a term that I, and others in my circle, use frequently. Therefore, it was already a significant term for me. However, working on the puzzle gave me a visual representation of the fact that how something is viewed, considerably affects how it is processed and responded to. As I tried to figure out where a piece belonged in the puzzle, I examined it closely, looking at its shape, colour, and any special markings on it. I came to realize that an image on a puzzle piece could look different depending on the angle I held the piece while looking at it. I could hold it in one direction and determine that it must be a part of someone’s arm and try to find the section of the picture that has an arm that looks like it. However, in turning it around, it could look like a shadow. And yet from another angle, it looked like a tombstone. With each turn, I was 100% sure it was what I thought it was…until I turned it again and it looked like something completely different. Nevertheless, it could only be one thing. Hence, until I accurately perceived what it really was, I could not begin to determine what to do with it because I did not know where it actually went. For the pieces I tried to fit based on the image on them, I learned to accept that not until I got the right perspective, could I fit it in the right place.

Lesson Learned: We can form wrong conclusions because a skewed perspective will lead to a skewed conclusion.

At the height of my frustration, I wanted to give up and convince my husband to finish the puzzle for me. At that point, I was a little less than halfway through. Thankfully, the little voice in my head that holds my “never give up” banner, whispered, “don’t give up, you can do this!” So I breathed deeply, gathered all the pieces that resembled the section of the puzzle I was working on, and diligently compared shapes and shades of colour until the entire section was done. As I went through that grassy section, I stumbled upon lessons 2 and 3 – perseverance and patience.

My spatial intelligence (ability to measure space and decipher patterns visually without the aid of instruments) is very low. Unlike my husband, who can look at a piece from 10 feet away and quickly figure out where it fits, I have to fit shapes by trial and error…and error…and error. To get to the end of my project, I had to persevere even though my deficiency made me feel stupid at times. Additionally, I had to be patient with myself, not need to be quick, and allow myself to go through the trial and error…slowly.

Lessons Learned: We have to be willing to persevere despite our personal shortcomings, and patiently endure the additional effort needed to accomplish tasks that are not easy for us.

During my arduous trek through the grass section, I began to see a pattern that led to lessons 4 and 5 on purpose and position. Despite my low spatial intelligence, sometimes a piece has such an unusual shape that you would have to be blind to not see where it fits. Unless...the space it is meant to fit in has not been “created” as yet. In the second half of my Pleasurable Puzzle-ing Project, I began to realize that even though every piece has a purpose, sometimes that purpose is not revealed until other pieces were in their position.

Lessons Learned: A delay in purpose is often the result of something or someone needing to get in proper position so that purpose can be fulfilled.

And finally, as symbolized by my husband inserting the final piece of the puzzle, we need people – Lesson 5. I did a lot of the puzzle by myself and enjoyed doing it, especially learning the lessons along the way. Nevertheless, I cherished my husband’s assistance. As the saying goes, no man is an island unto himself. I probably could have completed the puzzle by myself. However, it would have taken much longer and I would have missed out on sharing the experience with my husband. I love quality time! Needless to say, working on a jigsaw puzzle together was delightful.

Lesson Learned: Allowing people (spouse, parents, children, siblings, friends, colleagues) to share in our process leads not only to greater efficiency but also to shared experiences that enrich our relationships. 

CELEBRATE your CHILDREN

Yesterday I was reflecting on all the Facebook posts I have been seeing from people I grew up with. Posts showcasing the many accomplishments of their children. I beamed with pride for them and felt so happy that they are raising great children. And then I began to wonder about the ones I haven't seen. Are they not on Facebook? Do they not like to post personal stories? Are their children not high flyers? And that last question stuck with me...how do the parents of the students who aren't coming first in class or in sports feel when they see the posts of their peers and their peers' children? Do they feel bad? Do they feel embarrassed? And I imagined that maybe there is at least a tinge of something opposite to a warm and fuzzy feeling. So I decided I want to encourage the parents of the children who are not first in anything.

Here's the thing, EVERYBODY is good at SOMETHING. Yet, because of how our educational system is set up, what your child is good at may not get a prize or an award. As the parent, a part of your job is to CELEBRATE what's good about your child, even if nobody else does. Is your child obedient, neat, honest, mannerly, energetic, affectionate, friendly, an avid reader? CELEBRATE that! Does your child finish what he/she starts? CELEBRATE that! Does your child love the Lord Jesus? CELEBRATE that!

As I continued in my thoughts, I remembered the funerals I have attended and the tributes I read and heard from the children and grand children of the deceased. The common thread in those tributes was the children talking about the way their mother or father believed in them, encouraged them, made them feel special no matter what. I have yet to hear anyone say that their parent bought them the latest toys or name brand clothes and put them in a mansion. It was the way they encouraged them to be the best person, the best at what they put their minds to, that stood out to them.

Therefore, I encourage you with this: If you are a parent of a school age child reading this right now, no matter your child's GPA, find at least ONE thing your child does well and CELEBRATE it. It doesn't have to be shared on social media, but make sure your child knows that you see his/her strength and you are excited and pleased about it. And also let your children know that you love them, just as they are. No matter the circumstances of their birth, or your current struggles, accept and love your children and let them know that with your words and actions.

In my line of work I have met students with great courage, team spirit, perseverance, strength in the face of adversity, outside the box thinking, dramatic ability, artistic intelligence, etc. I love to see students excel and I am proud of the high flyers. However, I am even prouder when I see the light bulb come on and a student fights his/her way from not meeting the mark to surpassing it. I love hearing teachers say, "wow, this student sure made a come around." We all want our children to do well. But let's keep in mind that "well" is relative. Everyone will not be a straight A student, everyone cannot finish first, but everyone can do their best. Encourage your children to do their best and then reward them when they do their best. [s/n: please STOP rewarding children for doing NOTHING. You're creating lazy individuals who feel entitled to get something for nothing.]

Parents, you can boost your child's self-esteem by affirming his/her strengths and helping to navigate the challenging areas. You've been blessed with a gift and how you treat that gift, makes a huge difference in your child's life and in our communities. Please, CELEBRATE your CHILDREN!

Just a Daughter

Just a Daughter

Mother’s Day typically brings a mixed bag of emotions for me. Yet through it all, I give thanks.

The world, or at least the region I live in, tells you on Mother’s Day to honour the woman who brought you into the world and/or raised and nurtured you. However, truth is that we live in a world where mother-child relationships are not all equal. They range from bestest friends to arch enemies to non-existent due to death or abandonment - physical or emotional. For those on the high end of the spectrum, Mother’s Day is a joyous opportunity to shower a gem of a woman with tangible and intangible expressions of love. However, for those that experience(d) a relationship further along the spectrum, it can be difficult to honour mother (even though it’s also a Biblical command) because it feels more like pretend, keep up appearances, or at best, call those things that be not as if they are.

I must admit, even though my mother and I are far from arch enemies and abandonment is too severe a term to describe our relationship, the expectations of Mother’s Day have caused me to wrestle with my intense need to be authentic and my deep-seated opposition to doing something just because it is expected. Consequently, I have personally struggled with this day for most of my adult life. Through a long and arduous process involving multiple conversations with my Heavenly Father, I am learning to appreciate my relationship with my mother. This appreciation stems from Big Daddy continually helping me to view our relationship through the lens of God’s big picture and His purpose for my life instead of through the lens of the hurt child that felt she was the sacrifice for the greater good of the community…church…nation. And so as Mother’s Day 2015 approaches, I view it with thanksgiving.

Notably, my Mother's Day woes don't end there. For well over a decade, in the midst of reconciling my mother issues, there has been an added angst to Mother’s Day for me. I will call it the well-meaning Pause Pity Prophesy. Any woman over 25 years of age (or younger if you’re already married) who has not given birth to a live child probably knows what I am talking about. It happens a lot in church. Alternatively, it is experienced when saying “Happy Mother’s Day” to mother, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, cousins, or friends. This is how it goes: as everyone extends Mother’s Day greetings, they pause because they were about to say it to me but they mentally registered, “Oops! You don’t have a child.” So instead, they smile as they try to hide the sadness or disappointment or pity they feel for me and prophesy by saying something like, “next year I’ll be saying this to you.”

I am convinced that the Pause Pity Prophesy crew mean well and they are trying to be encouraging. But that awkward moment is simply that, awkward. I have accepted that without a doubt, whether you express hope that my time is coming soon or acknowledge that I’m like a mother to someone else’s child(ren) or say nothing, unless you are in my shoes OR we’re close enough for you to really know my truth and my faith, it is going to be uncomfortable. I can’t speak for every woman in this situation but I can speak for me. This may seem harsh but I really don’t want the pity (flesh) invoked prophesies and declarations that are supposed to be comforting but come across as trite. My truth is that I long to be a mother someday and in faith, I believe with all my heart that I will bring forth children from my womb. Nonetheless, until such time, I know that my life has purpose and I am fulfilling it each day that I breathe. Therefore, for all that I am right now, I thank Creator God.

I thank God because this year I almost gave in when satan tried to make me believe that it would be better to just skip church this year. Or just go to a church where I’m not known and people may not give me the Pause Pity Prophesy because they don’t know my story. Thankfully Big Daddy ministered to me and reminded me that He loves me and does not label me like the world labels me. In God’s Kingdom I am not labelled “single” or "married", “mother” or "childless", “rich” or "poor", “famous” or "insignificant". I am simply “BELOVED”.  Therefore, just as year after year I rose above the noise of “when are you going to get married…you’re getting old…you need to stop being picky i.e. settle” and continued to live purposefully as an woman of God who was unmarried, I will live joyously and purposefully as a woman of God who is married with no biological children. Every day that I have breath, I will live out 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “ Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Authenticity Check

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24

This was my prayer last week as I embarked on Authentic August. I’ve been an Authenticity banner wave-er for some time now but recently, what I’ve considered as my authentic nature has been called rude one time too many. So I figured maybe, just maybe, I’m off course and need an authenticity check (similar to a reality check lol). Never wanting to journey into the land of deep discovery alone, I decided that as I did my research and set the record straight, I would share whatever I find with my cyber community so that everyone would know I am right. 

Well, enter this article, Is There Such a Thing A Being Too Authentic. I actually discovered it a couple months ago and saved it on my computer. I don’t remember how or why I came across it initially. But there it was, on my computer, as I prepared to begin my authenticity research. One of my favourite scripture verses about God answering before we call (paraphrase of Isaiah 65:24) comes to mind. Because He is all-knowing, He knew I would need to read this article again and had me save it so I could ‘miraculously’ rediscover it at such a time as this. As I read it, my insistence that I am right began to crumble. 

The parts of the article that really struck me were:

Scripture teaches us that truth and grace are not opposite ends of a spectrum, with "authenticity" parked closer to the truth end, maintaining a regrettable but unavoidable distance from the grace end.

Rather, truth and grace are both concurrent values on God's graph, and we are to plot ourselves into the graph so that what we say expresses both.

Too much "grace" with no truth makes us smarmy. 

Too much "truth" with no grace makes us jerks.
Withholding a comment or deciding not to correct someone’s error because of kindness, then, could perhaps not be seen as a mark of inauthenticity so much as a sign of self-control.

We want our words to be the truth, and nothing but the truth. But when it comes to others, love may require us to withhold certain opinions, to keep certain confidences, to edit certain stories. The authentic Gospel requires authentic believers to speak the (graciously selected) truth.

There ya have it…I am a jerk. I tend to give truth with little or no grace. I just always thought it better to be honest, even if it hurts. I was (am) the poster child for “the truth hurts…deal with it.” I even yearn for the honest unfiltered truth from others. And though it hurts and I typically get annoyed with the giver of that truth, I still love it. I love it because after the annoyance leaves me, I accept the truth of what was said and use it as a growth point. That notwithstanding, I am now realizing that truth without grace is not godly…and I desperately want to represent my Father well in all that I do. Therefore, change is required. {sigh}

Yup, I prayed Psalm 139:23-24 and God searched me and showed me that my skewed view of authenticity does not line up with His Word. Of course God doesn’t want us to be fake and totally throw truth out the window. However, He does want us to present truth as graciously as possible. Sharing truth in a God-honouring way will lead others to Him and His love and healing. Godly Truth is not designed to expose sin and depravity in a demeaning or shaming manner. As I search my heart, I recognize that it is never my conscious intent to demean or shame. Nevertheless, I now accept that due to my lack of due care in choosing the right words and using the right tone at the right time (adding grace to truth), my truth sharing can be more damaging than healing; especially in my closest relationships. 

These revelations about godly authenticity have brought me to a place of humble surrender. I let go of what I previously thought to be right and yield to God’s Truth. Although I surrender, I do not retreat. Instead, I commit to submit to the Holy Spirit’s guidance as I strive to live out of my new understanding of authenticity. I will need lots of refining in this area because the thought of changing my “tell it as it is” approach is somewhat overwhelming. Thankfully, God led me to a scriptural marker to undergird my quest to live authentically as He requires. This is now my daily prayer as I endeavour to be authentic.

"Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace."

Ephesians 4:2-3

From Expectation to Experience

Getting married at 40, I expected to sail pass the hard work of blending two lives and cruise into a smooth mature marriage. I believe that “faith without works is dead”. This translated in my life as “if you believe that God is going to send you a husband, you should be fully prepared when he finally arrives.” In preparation, I read a ton of books on dating, marriage, boundaries, and commitment. I observed and talked to married people, those in successful marriages, the couples with rocky marriages, and people who had thrown in the towel and divorced. I had a mental list of what to avoid and what to focus on. Based on my research, I had carefully created a vision of my husband and our marriage. I had a fool proof plan for a successful marriage. 

My plan eventually began to unfold when I met a man who had about 98% of the characteristics on my list. He was a good Christian man, I was pleased. He proposed, I accepted. We allowed God to be our Wedding Planner and it was great! We were dressed to impress, surrounded by loving family and friends. Our guests were probably more excited than we were because many of them had prayed diligently for each of us to find a good mate and they were there to witness the answer to their unrelenting prayers. All the ingredients for a successful marriage were in place and I knew nothing could go wrong.

 

Fast forward to the present. Ten months into marriage and I’ve had to redefine success in marriage. Even with all my preparation, marriage is so much more than I expected. It is a revealing, humbling, exciting, adventure with highs and lows. I have been awakened to parts of myself that I either thought had already died or never knew existed. Furthermore, the realization that there are aspects of the two-becoming-one that truly baffle me has challenged my arrogant I’m-in-control attitude and forced me to humbly accept that I need Jesus in a new way as I navigate married life.  Despite this, I am excited about this three-way sacrificial love journey. There are so many variables, so many unknowns, but one thing remains constant, God is for us and will never leave us nor forsake us. This truth gives me peace. Marital success is not what I expected but experience has taught me that success is simply trusting God with the daily details of my marriage.

Waiting

What do you do when you are waiting on God to answer a prayer request that seems so important and so "now" yet His answer is slow in coming? Do you doubt, lose hope, think He has forgotten you or doesn't love you? Do you believe that He is punishing you for something you did or didn't do?

Here are some things I have learned to do:

1) Continue to pray...and ask God to show me what He wants me to learn, do, or change as I wait (Psalm 139:23-24)

2) Read His Word, the Bible, for reminders to be strong, encouraged, hopeful, patient, and trusting (Joshua 1:7-9)

3) Tap into the Truth hidden in my heart and remember that He loves me and has a good plan for my life. (Jeremiah 29:11)

3) Be busy about the things I already know He wants me to do like spreading His love to the people around me, and doing my job to His honor and glory. (Galatians 6:9-10)

One Year

What a difference One Year makes.

One year ago today, I began the Youth Volunteer journey that would reignite my passion for youth, and set me on the path to discover my new career.

Today I completed Week One of Training in my new career.

It's been a year of Learning and Exploring.

I've learned much about 

Life and Love,

Fear and Forgiveness,

Relationships and Choices,

Humility and Contentment.

And through it all...for it all,

I give God ALL the GLORY!

I never would have made it through this One Year without Him.

The Race of Life for Christians

Bahamas 2012 Men's 4x400m team
Victory Hug after WIN

Recently I was hanging out with some Americans and the men's 4x400m relay at Summer Olympics 2012 came up. As the sole Bahamian in the crowd I had to REPRESENT my people well and let it be known LOUDLY and CLEARLY that we WON that race because of the SKILL and DETERMINATION of the men in the race. I then shared with them how the Country practically SHUT DOWN during that race because Bahamians everywhere, at home, in offices, and even in banks, were watching and cheering for our last chance for GOLD in this Olympic competition. Needless to say, as a Country, we REJOICED when our men captured 1st place, over the USA team.  

And then, because I was among sisters in Christ, I shared with them that I actually watched the race for the first time AFTER knowing the results. However, even though I already knew that we had WON, I still sat on the edge of my seat, I still held my breath when we lost our lead, and during the last leg, I still cheered WILDLY  for the Bahamian to CATCH UP and TAKE OVER, and bring home the VICTORY. When it was all over and I sat back all out of breath from the rush of adrenaline that had coursed through my body in those 2+ mins, I laughed at myself. 

Why in the world did I get all worked up when I KNEW the outcome? And it hit me, this is how Christians behave when we forget that we already have the VICTORY because of what Christ did. He died on the cross to pay the ultimate price for our sins. Therefore, when we surrender to Him, and commit to allowing Him to be Lord and Savior in our life, we are no longer slaves to sin. Sin has no control over us. We don't have to live in fear that we will fall by the wayside and permanently live away from God's presence. As Christians, we are branches connected to the Vine and He will keep us and sustain us. 

Therefore, in the Race of Life, when difficulty comes, when opponents get the upper hand, we need to remember, that the God in us makes us WINNERS. We will regain the lead. We will overcome all adversity. Everything in our path that stands in the way of VICTORY will be made null and void. So, let's not sit on the edge of our seats and worry and fret. Let us remember what Paul wrote in Philippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  

Bahamas 2012 Men's 4x400m relay team
Prayer of thanksgiving after WIN

God is FOR us, so nothing and nobody can stop what He has divinely appointed for us. We may lose some battles but the war is ALREADY WON!

Say with me: I AM A WINNER! I AM A WINNER! I AM A WINNER!

Summer Olympics 2012 medal presentation
Bahamas Men's 4x400m relay team

Purpose Promise Process

I wrote the article below yesterday for my church’s bulletin. I’ll give you the back story so you can see how God lines things up to fulfil purpose. On several occasions in the past I have looked at the weekly article in our bulletin and thought to myself, “I should write articles for the bulletin” but never followed up on it. Then on Monday, I volunteered to help out at the church because I am in transition and figured giving to God’s ministry is a great thing to do with my free time. It just so happened that my timing coincided with the Office Assistant’s vacation so I was able to fill her spot. Yesterday morning when I got to church the Lord placed a topic in my spirit that I figured would be my next blog post. However, I needed to complete some projects I was working on at the church so I didn’t have time to write the post. Well, a couple hours into the work day, my Pastor’s wife asked me to finalize the bulletin by finding an article to include. Then she said as an afterthought, “Or you can write an article if you wish.” I KNEW it was a God move and even though given what I was working on I felt I may not have time to write an article, I knew this was an opportunity being presented that could not be passed up. 

Of course I was able to write the article and finish everything I needed to finish by the end of the work day. And because God is so orderly, the topic He placed in my spirit earlier in the day tied into the scrpiture verse on the bulletin cover.

God hears ALL our prayers and knows ALL our desires. The desire to write an article for the church bulletin is at least two years old. God may seem late but He really isn’t. He takes His time to line things up so we know that it was ALL Him. This season is hard but it’s things like this that remind me that God is working on my behalf through each and every circumstance I face. Check out my very first church bulletin article below...

Purpose Promise Process

God has a purpose for all of His creation. Every animal, plant, and substance, has a God-determined purpose. It is the same with every man, woman, and child. We were created to glorify God in our relationship with Him and in our interaction with each other in the earth. We each have tasks and callings that God has purposed for us to fulfil during our lifetime. Regardless of family status, employment status, marital status, or church status, God had a purpose for you when He allowed you to be formed in your mother’s womb. Your presence here at such a time as this is not a mistake.

¹³ “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16 (NKJV)

David says that God knew all his days before he was formed in his mother’s wombs and the same is true for all of us. Nothing that happens in our lives is a surprise to God. The ups and downs, twists and turns, triumphs and trials, are all orchestrated by our faithful Father to fulfil the plans He has for us. As Jeremiah told the people of Israel, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV) This promise to the Israelites applies to all of God’s children, everyone who know Him as Saviour and Lord.

It is important to note that Jeremiah spoke this promise while the Israelites were still in captivity in Babylon. This shows that our circumstances should not cause us to lose sight of our purpose or lose hope in the promises of God. The process God takes us through is normally not easy. He prunes us (John 15:2) and takes us through the refiners fire (Malachi 3:3) to ensure that the good work He began in us is completed (Philippians 1:6).

When we face health issues, financial challenges, conflict on the job or at school, and relational discord, we should find comfort in knowing that every trial is divinely orchestrated to bring forth good fruit in our lives. God wants to develop our character, integrity, perseverance, and endurance. He wants to increase our faith, peace, and joy. When we go through challenges and see the hand of God move in our situations, we get to taste and see how good and faithful He is to protect, guide, and keep us in the midst of the storms of life.

Your purpose will be fulfilled as you go through the process required to mature and equip you to handle the manifestation of the promise. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

As we go through our process, we should always remember that in times of goodness and hardship, we are blessed. Blessings are promised to those who walk in the ways of the Lord. “Blessed is every one who fears the LORD, who walks in His ways.” Psalm 128:1 (NKJV) We should also remember that we may not be able to control the external forces that wage war for our soul, but we can control our internal responses to what is happening around us. Instead of worrying and being fearful and seeking to solve our problems on our own, we should seek the Lord earnestly and wait on Him to act on our behalf.

“As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. ² I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him? ³ Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?” Psalm 42:1-3 (NLT) When fear and doubt creep up and the naysayers taunt us, let us conclude as the Psalmist concludes, “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.” Psalm 42:11 (NKJV) Go courageously through your process as you walk in the promises of God and fulfil His purpose for your life.

Where is Real Love?

God offers real love
But  I turn my back on His love
And run after cheap imitations.
God loves me unconditionally
But I keep trying
To earn love from humans.
God is 100% available with a pure love,
Yet I settle for half love, some love,
And even no love with just a whole lot of lust.
If only I could truly grasp what REAL love is,
The kind that’s wrapped in God,
Maybe I would be able to
Recognize it in man, and let it in.
Truth be told,
Love scares me.
It seems so illusive, so impossible.
I want it, but I don’t know
If I can really trust it or handle it.
So I run and hide from it.
Lord, help me decipher the real from the fake.
April baby that I am, I am a diamond girl.
I want diamond love, not the cubic zirconium kind.



Where is real love in human form?
Get thee behind me
You emotionally, physically, and legally unavailable.
You look good, smell good,
And sure feel a whole lotta good.
But you ain’t good enough for me.
I want more. I want all.
I’m tired of settling.
Nothing but the best will do.
I deserve it. I want it. I’m gonna get it.
Real love, wherever thou art, I am here.
I’m waiting for you. Come hither, find me,
Pursue me, walk this road with me.
WAIT! Let me say this final piece.
If you ain’t willing to strive to love me like Jesus does,
I’m pretty sure you ain’t the one for me.
So keep stepping and leave me be.

Relationships

Romantic relationships are hard work. They feel good when things are right. But oh the pain and heartache that comes when things are wrong. Hollywood has sold us a dream. And many of us have bought into the dream. In 90 minutes we see a beautiful romance build and blossom. Two people meet and fall for one another. They have a whirlwind romance. Then there’s a misunderstanding. They part ways for about 20-25 minutes of the movie. And in the final 15 minutes, they reunite, realize they just can’t live without one another, rekindle the love flames, and the movie ends with everyone happy. And we walk out...TRICKED (again!)

In real life, there are mood swings, differences of opinions, mismatched sex drives, household chores, work schedules, religious differences, family strife and friendship wars, all competing to be the ONE thing

that breaks the camel’s back. But we hold on...We hold onto hope, we hold onto love, which sometimes is really infatuation. Nonetheless, we hold on and sometimes we hold out. We hold out thinking that punishment will lead to transformation.

Real relationships require a lot of C’s. Connection between two people that goes beyond the mere physical

but also involves emotional, mental and spiritual connection. Commitment to work together, not against one another to deal with the good and bad and hang in through the varying seasons of life. Communication to talk through the rough patches, to be the sounding board for our partners. Not only to be an ear but, to offer advice they may not want to hear. Compassion and Care go a long way, too. As we offer understanding and support we solidify the bonds that will overcome future ought. Conflict is most often avoided but it should be faced head on and worked through because conflict well managed will bring forth good fruit.

Relationships are gifts from God. They enrich our lives if we make wise choices. Choices based on compatibility and common interests, instead of merely cash flow or cuteness. Whether we have a romantic relationship or not, we should surely foster our friend and family relationships too. Life is all about balance and no one person can meet all our relational needs. So let’s be friends before lovers, good mothers and good daughters, faithful fathers and sons, loving brothers and sisters, companions and confidantes, and friends to the end. And through it all, let’s never forget  to thine own self be true.

Sometimes

Sometimes everything seems wrong in the world
You don’t look right, don’t feel right,
Your hair is a mess and your clothes are too tight.

Sometimes you long for a do-over

A chance to crawl back into bed
 To start the day again, but this time without that awful dread.

Sometimes you wonder what is going on.

Why does life seem so limited?
Why don’t you have the things you always wanted?

Sometimes it gets a little weary

Your steps get a little slower
And you wish the next life was a bit closer.

Sometimes you cry out in the darkness

And hope that someone will hear.
Just one someone to hear and to care.

Sometimes you need to melt into the darkness.

You have to feel the pain and its immeasurable weight
Before you can fully embrace God’s pure light.

Sometimes you just want to give up

There are times when all you can do is fall on your face,
But know that God is waiting and is offering you His Grace.

Sometimes it is in your weakness

That you realize your own strength
And find the courage to go the full length.

Sometimes when everything is amiss

That is the time that you need to find your own song
The song that lets the world know you’re still here and you’re strong.

Sometimes in the midst of your drought

You may forget what this life is all about
But know that your Father has already prepared the way out.

Sometimes you have to close your eyes

Take a DEEP breath, in and out,
Lift your hands to God and just SHOUT!

Moving Forward

Moving Forward
Not looking back.

Moving Forward
Not letting the past hold me back.

Moving Forward
Believing in God's plan.

Moving Forward
Reaching deep within for the very best.

Moving Forward
Don't want to miss a step.

I'm Moving Forward
Will not turn back!

New Year

New Year

Same Rule
New Year
Same God
New Year
Same Purpose
New Year
Same Focus

It’s a new year

But God has not changed.
God is the same
Yesterday, today, and forever.
His love is
Never-ending.
His peace is
All-consuming.

It’s a new year

But God’s love is the same.
God has not changed.
He still wants your heart.
God is still the same.
He wants intimacy between you and He.
God and His love does not change,
But His love can bring change in each of us.

mp3 Secrets

I realized today that my mp3 can tell a tale on my life. Most days I walk with my mp3 player because I LOVE music and it keeps me pumped for my walk. I also like variety so I keep the mp3 player set to “shuffle” so it can play songs randomly from the different albums and genres on it. The majority of my songs are gospel so I can go for an entire 30-60 minute walk and only hear gospel songs. However, there are other genres on my mp3 player. In addition to gospel, I have hip hop, reggae, soca, and Bahamian. These songs typically put an extra pep in my step because the beat and lyrics are so catchy. Sometimes I skip them because I’m not in the frame of mind to hear secular music and I need only soul inspiring music. And then there are times that I enjoy the switch and move to the rhythms and allow myself to be taken away to another place. Today was such a day.

If anyone observed me on my walk, I probably seemed rather sporadic. I would clip my fingers, bop, and bellow out secular lyrics, then raise my hands and loudly sing praises to God, then walk and whine. By the time as I arrived back at my starting point, I had a dance session on the driveway to the soca song that was playing. I just had to get it all out and it was such fun!

When I was done dancing I imagined the thoughts that may run through the minds of some people if they saw me or knew the mixture of music I listen to. Of course my mind went a step further and I wondered what people would think if they not only had access to my mp3 player, but also to my mind. Lord knows I have some far out thoughts at times. And, like with my mp3 player, sometimes I skip over these thoughts and they have little to no impact on my actions. Other times, I allow the thoughts to fester and eventually they become actions. They aren’t always good actions and sometimes I have to seek my Father’s forgiveness. Fortunately, He knows enough to not be surprised by my thoughts or actions and He loves me enough to forgive me and allow me to enjoy fellowship with Him in spite of my actions.

Message of this story: there is more to people than what we see and no one action represents a person in his or her totality. Take what people offer you of themselves and if you are fortunate to see multi facets of an individual, consider it an honour, not an opportunity for judgement...thatisall.

DECISION DECEMBER

Here is something a little different. I know it has been a hard year for many of us. For some there have been significant financial, emotional, and relational challenges. No matter whether things are good or bad right now, there is always room for improvement. I am an advocate for constant reflection and adjustments to ensure that we are living the BEST life possible. I have dubbed this month "Decision December". Below are some points for you to consider that may help you end this year strong and well positioned for a fabulously purposeful new year.

STEP 1 - DECIPHER

Who are you?

What are your strengths?
What are your top 5 interests
When you search your heart, what are your innermost desires and dreams?
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to be? (this is not the same as the previous question)
Are you a child of God or are you on satan’s team? (it’s either/or, no middle ground)

STEP 2 - DETERMINE

Definitively decide on a course of action based on answers in STEP 1.
Determine to serve God and allow His plan to manifest in your life
Determine your goals
Determine deadlines for your goals
Determine (resolve within yourself) that there are NO limits to what you can achieve
Determine that regardless the setbacks, you will persevere to your intended end

STEP 3 - DO

Perform!!!!
Bring to pass what you have determined in STEP 2